Friday was extremely eventful.

I went and met with company M. And I basically have the sales job. It's for three months because they have a grant from the state. And then we'll see. 2K plus commission. This is a lot of money for me- I can pay my rent, my car insurance, food and meds, maybe start on my student loans if I consolidate. Essentially support myself.

I also met with company F to get a temporary assignment- testing an application they built. While I was there the CEO invited me to the Christmas party. I had a good time getting to know people that work there. One girl used to work in the film industry. I also talked to the VP K who was my original contact. He told me about a six month project starting in February that they need a business analyst for. I'm fairly sure he's going to tap me or it.

So- I've gone from no jobs, to the possibility of having to choose between jobs. It's crazy. I'm trying to self talk positively- "I earned this", "I'm a good networker", "I'm talented", etc. But after a year of virtual unemployment it's just weird.

I have decided to move to Other City. I could do job M at least from home. But my lease is up next month and I think it's time. I'm searching for apartments. Not sure which state to live in. My current state has suburbs close, and if I want to go to grad school at my old school I need to maintain residency. But Other City has a great library, and I plan to keep my car registered at my parents' house (which may do for residency).

I will be coming back here twice a month for therapy. So I will see my friends.

This just seems too perfect. It's crazy. Is this really happening?

So I have some job prospects.

I sometimes go to networking events in a larger city near me. I have one company, F, where I made friends with the VP. They are interested in hiring me as a business analyst type. But they can't do it yet. The VP got me an assignment for testing with them.

Another company, M, I met the CEO. They are hiring someone for sales in January. Part time at first so I could stay in this city. I talked to him for half an hour and am meeting him Friday when I go get the assignment.

So- these have been my best two prospects. I think it helps to know someone because otherwise your resume gets lost in the slush.

Afraid to hope though because it's been a year, and because if I can't start supporting myself I will probably end up back with my parents. Bad Idea.

So do things happen for a reason? Is one of these companies the cosmic (or whatever) reason I didn't get hired for the job with the Democrats? Woman wouldn't return my calls. And honestly I don't want to go back in politics- either party.

I just want what everyone does. Enough to pay the bills, preferably something non-soul-sucking. And benefits because this Obamacare is going to run out...

Thanksgiving

I had a lovely fluffy post in mind about what I was thankful for. But screw that.

My sister decided-today- that she isn't going to stay the night because she got game tickets. So my mother is going to be upset. I'm upset because I wanted to take the kids to the Muppets. I'm the one who has to hear my mother. If my sister doesn't like driving why did she come at all?

C- and his feelings- hasn't texted me back. Did I want to bring him for Christmas to impress my sister? I don't know he's clearly in the wrong and he can't even tell me Happy Thanksgiving? Maybe there's a reason he's 50 and unmarried.

Cried in the car for two minutes.

I hate Thanksgiving.

Relationship drama. Already.

So this weekend C and I went to my friend E's house to do some movie scenes. That was fun, E is always hilarious. We hung out at C's house but first we went by my apartment to let my dog out.

I brought my dog out to meet C- this is kinda a big deal because he doesn't like men. Didn't let C in my apartment though.

Yesterday C and I were texting. He started talking about how he missed me, cared a lot about me, etc. This weirded me out because it's too fast and I don't think I feel the same. He kinda backpedaled.

Then, he asked for my address. Why? Said something about Google. I'm thinking, Google Earth, he wants to spy on me? I asked him why again, he said just because. I said I wasn't okay with that. He said, don't you trust me? I said, I have boundaries. And you aren't telling me why.

So. Maybe he wanted to come by and surprise me? That's the benevolent explanation I can think of. He hasn't texted me today.

Am I right to be freaked by this? At worst he wants to do something creepy. Or, I know he isn't psychic, but I was a victim of home invasion. Don't ask "don't you trust me?"

Ugh. I'm really trying to give this relationship a chance. But I know I don't feel for him the way he feels for me and I don't know...

Yesterday I told C I wanted to be in a relationship. He was really surprised since I had told him the age difference was too much. But also really happy. Really happy. It makes me proud of myself, that I have the power to make a man that happy.

We went to the theater, and he introduced me to everyone he knew. The play was a 'dysfunctional family comedy', long, and pretty heavy. (Although the characters watched SVU which was awesome). There were several references to one character saving another from 'a gentleman friend with a claw hammer'. Supposed to be jokes. Today I explained to C that they were rape jokes and a big thing of mine.

Anyway I've explained that consent, and boundaries are very important to me. We've kissed. It was okay.

I think this has the potential to be serious. He isn't perfect- he smokes. Intends to quit which will have to be if I'm going to stay. I know I can't change him. But like with the rape jokes I can educate him. We are already talking about Christmas.

Could he be the one? Am I settling? I am not sure if my family is going to approve. I am not sure if I care if they do.

I guess I just need to take this slowly. I've never been in love before.

Relationships

So when I was doing a play (that got cancelled) I met a guy- C. And at rehearsal we got yelled at for making jokes and hung out other times. But we agreed that we were just friends- because I am in my 23s, and he is almost twice my age.

But, he makes me laugh, and takes care of me. He told me "if you want to talk about the assault [the one I talk about but don't mention the sexual aspect] I'll listen." We're still hanging out. I can talk to him on the phone for half an hour, and I don't like talking on the phone.

So, there's chemistry. I was at his house on Sunday, he made dinner. When I was looking at my phone to see when I could come over again he asked, "what, you got another guy?" He also asked when I lost my virginity, which I deflected.

The thing I am questioning is, just because I am attracted to someone, who is attracted back, do I have to act on it? I have serious qualms about the age thing- what if I end up taking care of him, what if I do decide I want kids. And even short term, we are from different generations. There are things I don't understand about him, his attitudes.

I am growing more confident around men. I went to a networking event last night and two guys hit on me. One, T, asked if I ever went to a certain bar. I said I was Friday night (for a friend's going away party, I don't normally) and he said maybe he'd see me there. We had a good conversation about sci-fi.

C is taking me to a show Saturday (date much?) and I know we need to have a conversation. I'm just not sure what it's going to consist of...